I will describe this 2 years in the army as a period of self discovery. I've learnt a lot about myself: Strengths, Weakness, what drives me etc. Its not that i never knew what my strengths or weaknesses are, its just that now i know it at a much deeper level.
Here is what i've learnt:
1. Leaders are born.
Me.. Im not a leader. Funny isnt it? I've taken on so many leadership positions like.. a Senior CLT in NCC, Class reps etc and was so sure that i was born one. But when i came to the unit, everything told me otherwise. I cant influence people like others do. I cant think of a better rebuttal when my men talk back to me. I cant pass down my ideas or communicate them to my men as well or as easily as others. My whole being took a beating when i came to that realisation, but at least now i know.
Initiative and hardwork is not equivalent to leadership. That just means that you are responsible and hardworking. In the end, you might just get used by people to do their shit.
Intelligence is not enough. One must be witty. Or you'll just end up speachless more often that not, even though your reasoning is better.
Leadership is a combination of all the above plus 2 important(natural) factors.
1. Charm/Charisma
2. An element of fearlessness and cruelty.
Charisma is what makes people attracted to you. If you are able to charm a person, more than half the battle is won. Just look at Hitler and Churchhill. The element of fearlessness and cruelty is neccessary to demand things or standards from your people without compromise. No matter what excuse or reasons they may give. And it is in this 2 factors that i lack.
I dont have the kind of charisma that others have. Neither do i have the other element. Perhaps im too soft, i tend to hold back my anger. My heart tends to give in when they give excuses like back pain etc. Somethings cant be helped..
Everyone is made for different things and what are my weaknesses are also my strengths. Im sad upon this realisation but at the same time, im glad that i now know myself better. And through all this.. I've grown up. Much more than i've ever imagined..
-Mark-
11/06/2007 03:19:00 pm
Quotes
"What of soul was left, I wonder, when the kissing had to stop?" - Robert Browning
"What profits the man who gains the world but loses his soul?"
“He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.” ~Benjamin Franklin
Life can be tough, misery is optional.
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” ~ Harry Potter
"Some people feel the rain, others just get wet" ~Bob Dylan
"Sex relieves tension - love causes it" ~Woody Allen
Soul meets soul on lovers lips
Be without a doubt
Love of my life
Archive
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Credits and note from the designer
Designer Eric Sim
Brushes Hybrid Genesis and
Eric Sim
Features an abstract- floral digital artwork drawn by me in photoshop. This layout is appropriate for all genders. The grandiose design is laid freely on a simple canvas and they complement each other pretty well. The sudden gradient change is applied to create one contrasting element. I created a 3D effect on the vines and they seem to jut out of the yellow canvas.
Why the name? The design, as you can see, is abstract and it gives a double-vision feel, therefore, Esophoria, a tendency to squint your eyes inward to create a double vision.
